Slightly sadder

far away from where it’s all happening – when will the restlessness leave?

When will the questions stop, or why do they trip themselves over in the asking-

What is Your plan?



“But, Lord, in special forgive me my sins of omission”.

James Ussher

Sometimes, when gripped by the futility of days that swim by, I plead for fresh guidance from the Lord concerning the scope and focus of my toilsome labour – a way to know if I am spending my time in a way that would maximise my life for Christ’s glory.

Or, if I am just only scrapping the surface of the abundant life promised.

Not often do I get a response.

So I ask instead that my personal sense of the reality of Christ would be so deep and confident and satisfying that I cannot keep from commending Him to others.

But I recognise my failings every day. And indeed, there is not a Christian who feels content with his effectiveness in personal evangelism. We feel guilt for our timidity and regret for missed opportunities, phony because of our lack of compassion for the lost.

But when understanding fails, may worship and adoration take place.

The diadem of pain

which sliced your gentle face,

three spikes piercing flesh and wood

to hold you in your place.

The need for blood I understand.

Your sacrifice I embrace.

But the bitter sponge, the cutting spear,

the spit upon your face?

Did it have to be a Cross?

Did not a kinder death exist

than six hours hanging between life and death,

all spurred by a betrayer’s kiss?

“Oh, Father,” you pose,

heart-stilled at what could be,

“I’m sorry to ask, but I long to know,

did You do this for me?

Max Lucado

Let His people go

Is this me?

…having a form of godliness but denying its power. — 2 Timothy 3:5

I was recently struck by a sense of duality in the Christian walk. To borrow the story of Moses and the disobedient Israelites in Egypt under the stubborn Pharoah, we too have been told that we should serve God only (Matthew 4:10).

“The problem with many today is that we think they can serve God in Egypt. We think going to church or saying prayers, reading the Bible, or just believing in God is serving Him and is quite enough religion.”

But the service God required was in Canaan, is a different dimension altogether. He is not interested in our practicing religion, but rather in our finding reality in religion.

In other words, if we haven’t accepted God’s way of escape from Satan through Christ, it doesn’t matter how many times we go to church or do religious things; we cannot please God. I cannot please God.

God had told Pharaoh that His people needed to be free from Pharaoh’s jurisdiction and released to offer acceptable sacrifices in another place altogether (Exodus 3:18). The proposals that Pharaoh offered to the children of Israel are the same proposals Satan offers people today: “Be a nominal believer. By all means, look like a Christian on Sundays, but be yourself when no one’s looking!”

After all, Satan has to think up a proposal that will encourage his slaves to decide to stay in Egypt of their own free will.

Don’t go overboard with this Christian thing.”“Leave your options open,” Satan suggests. “Stay in sight of the old life.”

Pharaoh too had suggested an idea – “Stay in sight. Don’t get too involved. You can leave, but you don’t have to go very far away.”

Pharaoh said,

I will let you go to offer sacrifices to the Lord your God in the wilderness, but you must not go very far. — Exodus 8:28

Yet, geographically, this simply isn’t possible. You can’t even see Canaan — the land of freedom and blessing — from Egypt.

So, I guess my question is this:

How many times this week have I turned to look longingly at Egypt?

Changes ahead

Why is hope of change sometimes the one miracle you don’t dare hope for?

Life is traumatic, the way time passes like glass beads falling off a broken chain. Living in a fallen world can’t help but be traumatic, and every single day is a stream of tiny traumas and regrets.

But Peace is a Person. His Name is Jesus. And I feel like I’m grasping tightly to all His promised me, and all the ways He will help me obey Him and live the life I am meant to live.

Live like this to the very end – afraid, yet fearless. Fearlessly His.

Strangely feeling like I have my life back.

Met some of my favourite people this weekend, and saw familiar faces from ARPC, which was a great encouragement, considering I had assumed only Prinsep friends would attend.

Was particularly happy to have met Yanyi and Jessy at the same place – creative minds work best together, and God willing, we will see something amazing from the talents He has given us.

God willing.

This is the start of something new! 💐